The Dark Knight Thumbs Down

Christopher Nolan’s supposed masterpiece finale is a dud. A movie so stupid it’s insulting.

I used to scoff at those guys who seemed to remember every plot hole in movies they’ve watched. Reading their reviews or the fake scripts at the-editing-room.com is funny but I think “wow, that never struck me during the movie, the mood was right and the action covered it up, these guys really have no life”.

Not with The Dark Knight Rises. It’s just full of god-awful plot holes and one deus ex machina after another. It just ruined the movie for me.

Bruce Wayne goes from geriatric to Ninja using a handy knee gadget he had lying around in his lab. Then he gets almost beaten to death but then gets his spine fixed by a slap on the back from a cave doctor somewhere in a generic Arabian country and – boom – after some bench pressing he can jump again like a world class athlete.

All of Gotham City’s 3000 cops are trapped in the sewers for three months. After they finally get out, they are clean-shaven and are wearing untarnished uniforms.

The film’s big surprise plot twist at the end is surprising only because it’s the most random thing the scriptwriters could think of. And thinking they didn’t do much. Every girl in the film (that’s 2) gets to be a love interest. To make up for the lack of estrogen, there’s the most amount of man-tears a mainstream action movie has had so far. Bruce Wayne, his butler, even the bad guy… they all get to bawl when they are confronted with their childhood memories.

Seriously, how can that movie get an IMDB score of 9.0? Don’t tell me that action movies have always had these plot holes. What else does that film have left? Fist fights? The most non-aerodynamic flying machine ever seen on screen since the Jetsons? A nuclear mushroom cloud that looks comped in like from an AfterEffects tutorial?

Meh.